Talking about sexuality to children!

Many parents fear to talk about sexuality to their children because they find it a taboo. This is mainly due to the lack of sexuality education they didn’t get during their childhood. Then, this issue is a big problem to both parents and children.-By Yves Didier Irakoze

Rénovate Irambona: “Parents should discuss sexuality or exchange about it with their children in a very understanding way according to their age.” ©Iwacu

“I feel shy to talk about sexuality and reproductive health conversation with my children,” points out K.N. a 50- year old parent. Niyonzima G. on her side mentions that she is sometimes courageous to discuss sexuality with her daughters rather than her sons. However, she does exchange about sexuality with her daughters when they start their period of menstruation in order to avoid unwanted pregnancy. “I actually confirm that even to give them some pieces of advice at this age, is not easy for me. I hardly find the right words or the right language to use because it’s somehow shameful to me,” says Niyonzima.
According to K. J. , speaking about sexuality with children is a task reserved to women because he can’t take his time and dare engage discussions over sexuality with his children. Jean Fernand Niyonganji, aged 15 says that he never hears his parents talking about sexuality to him or in his family.
V. A. shares Jean Fernand’s view that she never gets the opportunity to have talks about sexuality with her parents and even what she knows is the knowledge she got from her friends and fellows.

Parents should adopt a new policy on sexuality issues

According to Rénovate Irambona, PhD in Psychology, sexuality discussion between parents and children is somehow considered as a taboo in our culture. Parents feel very embarrassed to talk about sex. Rénovate Irambona mentions that even when parents dare talk sexuality to their children, they use a kind of language that is not straightforward, clear and direct; they prefer to use proverbs or very confusing language that the youths cannot understand very easily. She also states that parents start talking sexuality to their children late. For her, their children are consequently found in a trap because their parents didn’t tackle sexuality issues with them at their early age. In many cases children tend to be curious to know what their parents haven’t talked to them. For instance, they go to seek information from people and on internets.

“Parents should discuss sexuality or exchange about it with their children in a very understanding way according to their age,” points out Irambona.
Then parents, she says, have to adopt a new style to dare talking sexuality to them. Parents should learn how to listen to their children and talk sexuality early. Parents also need to get some sessions on sexuality education for a good transmission to their children. Finally, she concludes that the government should set up appropriates on sexuality education to parents as children are getting theirs in schools.