Society: things are changing

In Burundian society, it was uncommon to witness and hear men crying out that they are threatened and mistreated by their wives. Today, Burundians are changing their mind and dare denounce it loudly.-By Diane Uwimana

Protais Habonimana: “It was not the first time she mistreated me. This is the second time. Firstly, she injured me with a knife on the head and I suffered from it for a long time. For the third time, she will probably kill me if I don’t watch out.”©Iwacu

The recent case comes from Murango II at Kamenge Commune in Bujumbura City Council. Protais Habonimana, 32years old with five children, has been threatened and mistreated by his wife. The bad nightmare started in the evening at the New Year’s Eve. “I was invited by my friend for celebrating the inauguration of his family house. I took part in the party without any problem. But, when I went back home at midnight after the party, I found the door tightly closed. I tried to knock but in vain. I was obliged to go back to my friend’s place and slept there”, says Habonimana. Wounded on the left ear and fore-arm, it is hard for someone to keep from crying when looking at his body’s parties. Habonimana hears only with his right ear. The left one is damaged since that dark day. “When I entered home in the morning of 1st January 2014, my wife was cooking, when suddenly she threw at me a boiler of hot cassava leaves,” regrets Habonimana. He indicates that his wife accused him of having another wife. “My little sister who was near her, intervened but my wife had escaped. Otherwise, I will have hardly survived”, he underlines. According to him, the complexity of the situation pushed him to denounce it loudly. “Up to now, associations are aware of my situation and they try to help me to sort out that bad nightmare”, he urges.
In jail, N. Elisabeth, Habonimana’s wife lies down on the mattress with her youngest son crying out and begging her husband to excuse her. “What happened happened, the only thing I wish is just pardon”, she cries out.
However, this doesn’t match much with Habonimana’s mind. “It was not the first time she mistreated me. This is the second time. Firstly, she injured me with a knife on the head and I suffered from it for a long time. For the third time, she will probably kill me if I don’t watch out,” he points out.

“Family’s management sensitization is very important”

According to Vincent Bukuru, the Chairman of the Association for Protecting Human beings and Distressed Man (APDH Burundi), not only women are the ones who undergo violence and abused by their husbands, but also men are often abused, injured, humiliated and threatened by their wives. He mentions that the association has already received 87 cases this previous year (2013). Among them, the majority is men who complain that their wives mistreat and beat them while few are women. “There are various types of violence like verbal, physical, psychological, moral and ritual violence which sometimes causes misunderstandings in families or lead to divorce why not suicide to one of the spouses,” he states. For David Niyonzima, Psychotherapist and Legal Representative of the Trauma Healing and Reconciliation (THARS), things are changing over and over. “People are fed up with what happened in their families. Different associations gathered in Civil Society have contributed to change the human beings’ mindset. What were taboo subjects are today denounced aloud. And this is very important for human beings. Hidden things have currently no place in Burundian Society,” he points out. He goes on encouraging those who dare denounce the evil in their family in order to avoid being affected by trauma. “This shows that people have understood that if they are traumatized, the situation can generate bad and dangerous side effects. Up to now, they boldly dare show and break the iceberg that exists in their heart in order to build a peaceful society”, he adds. For Vincent Bukuru, everyone must know that violence is undergone by both men and women. Therefore, the government should also sensitize them to that kind of violence in order to eradicate it effectively. “It is very important for them to learn how to manage their family,” he concludes.